Computer mouse beats remote control — this week only, that is

The combined onslaught of the Fall Television season and college midterms has forced America's most coveted viewer demographic to strike a compromise.

It's not easy to reconcile TV watching - a passive viewer/medium relationship - with the more active pursuit of postsecondary education. But dad gum it, broadcasters are sure gonna try.

After announcing plans to sever ties with iTunes earlier this month, NBC opted to launch a competitor called NBC Direct this October, a service providing free but ad-supported full downloads of its present shows. There are several catches: a. downloads are available only through Amazon's Unbox service; b. commericals embedded within the downloads are unskippable; c. they're only available up to a week after they premiere; and d. the download "degrades" (or blocks playability) after seven days.

Sounds unreasonably complicated. So why did NBC split with iTunes anyway? Although NBC wouldn't name specifics, Apple cited pricing differences; to wit, the broadcaster wanted to charge more for certain shows, and wholesale for its popular programming — a reversal over iTunes' usual $1.99 per episode flat rate.

That's not all. Every broadcaster (including ABC, FOX and CBS) is rolling out free downloads for most season premieres this week; however iTunes and Amazon Unbox are favoring new series such as Journeyman, Chuck, Cane, Pushing Daisies and K-Ville yet charges for returning hit staples Family Guy, CSI, The Office and Heroes. The reason? According to a New York Times article, consumers can download the program before its televised premiere, then spread to friends à la word-of-mouth, so hype is generated virally - by the individual - and not the corporation.

Of course, that assumes the aforementioned college-age demographic (18-25 year-olds) is even willing to participate in viral marketing, considering the windfall of homework and test prep pelting students starting early October.

Yet preliminary signs indicate yes, after a successful viral campaign launched late-July targeted the online file-sharing subculture. While piraters illegally downloaded video camera-quality copies of Transformers, search results were also peppered with allegedly "leaked" series premieres including Pushing Daisings, Cavemen, Bionic Woman and Reaper. Network execs "expressed surprise" over the leak, but we all know better.

I personally DVR the programs, but those not blessed with the same technology may find solace in Unbox and iTunes' free downloads this week.

Of course, you should probably remember to avert your eyes from the cheerleader once in awhile and concentrate on that Chemistry exam, eh?

Images courtesy www.apple.com, www.amazon.com and www.nbc.com.

Pork your pork and eat it, too

Remember the saying, "some foods are aphrodisiacs"? If so, you might agree with linguist/scholar Harry E. Wedeck's clever truism:

"Many so-called aphrodisiac recipes are basically wholesome ingredients prepared in a tasty way. The receptivity to romance probably comes from the general sense of relaxation and well-being good food induces."

Of course, he probably wasn't talking about swine. Or bestiality.

That's because the swanky downtown district of Ropponga, Tokyo, Japan has bequeathed new
meaning to the phrase, "erotic food": an underground restaurant lets patrons, ahem, sexually violate the livestock of their choice, then have it slaughtered, roasted, sautéd and served to them as an entrée.

The members-only bestiality restaurant, according to InventorSpot, caters almost exclusively to nouveau riche clients seeking decadent lairs to satisfy primal urges teetering on taboo. An S&M club worker identified merely as "M" in a Mainichi Daily News column supplies a blow-by-blow of his experience in the restaurant:

"When a customer goes in, they give their name to a receptionist. When they are approved, they pass through a wooden door to be greeted by another door, this one made of metal. Passing a membership card over a scanner outside the door will automatically open it. Inside is an eatery that resembles just about any other Italian restaurant."

Talk about bestial decadence. Anyway, "M" was steered downstairs to an isolated basement, asked to select an animal, and given carte blanche to "do" whatever he wanted. Once comfortable, he was led upstairs to a plush dining room and, lo and behold, fed the very same beast he violated earlier. The price tag for such an act of debauchery? Try 800,000 yen, or roughly $7,000.

Just disgusting. Thankfully, that hideaway's sitting smack on the other side of the globe — right where it should be. I know dogs and cats are considered delicacies in certain South Asian locales, but honestly: What's the explanation for something like this?

Images courtesy InventorSpot, Japaneselifestyle.com.au

To boldly go where no conglomerate has gone before

Search engine? Check. E-mail carrier? Check. Investor in multi-million dollar moon missions?

Surprisingly, check.

Los Angeles Times reported on Sept. 14 that Google Inc. is backing a $30 million planned lunar space race called "Google Lunar X PRIZE," a competition geared toward enterprising robot-philes itching to launch rockets into the vast blackness of space.

An excerpt from the article:
"The international competition challenges entrants to land a robotic vehicle on the moon, have it travel at least 500 meters and beam video images and other data back to Earth. The first company to win the private-sector space race by 2012 would take home $20 million."

Here's a press conference introducing the Google-sponsored competition:



Of course, this is the first non-government-subsidized space exploration project since SpaceShipOne captured the $10-million Ansari X Prize after climbing 377,591 feet (or about 17.5 miles) in 2004.

The reason? Google hopes to spark a "commercial revolution," wherein other corporations would take the proverbial cosmic plunge and sponsor more robotic space expeditions.

It's actually a fantastic idea: Why should the increasingly impatient private-sector idle away while NASA plods along launching hit-or-miss missions? Instead, why not quadruple the manpower, trigger a global revolution and get humanity spacebound faster than before? Can you just imagine the conversations in 100 years once manned missions become as commonplace as bike-riding?

Son: Hey, Ma! I'm goin' to Pluto. See ya at 5:00.
Mother: Wear a sweater, honey. It's chilly.

Now, Google staking millions toward a robot-versus-robot contest is peculiar considering the funding comes from an unconventional source, but we should first remember how the billion-dollar corporation is paving inroads for the Web 2.0 movement. They've progressed from mediocre search engine to e-mail client to Froogle to Google Earth, a software granting users free-license to trek through dazzling 3D renderings of our globe's most far-flung regions.

Doesn't it seem that bankrolling space competitions is the next evolutionary step?

Image courtesy www.xprize.org

From the No-Surprise Department: Viewers declare Sunday's fiasco more interesting than overseas war

Although Britney's disastrous performance last Sunday at the Video Music Awards emerged as an unavoidable news headline, the lumbering lip-syncher's gag-inducing antics managed to cull a huge uptick in ratings - 6.40, or nearly 7.1 million viewers, according to a CNN.com report. The 23% increase over last year all but gave MTV a viewership choke hold over other Sunday Night primetime TV contenders, owing to MTV's announced promise not to reair the 2007 VMAs after the initial broadcast. (By the by, this might not be entirely true — my Comcast onscreen guide shows a reairing on September 17; by then, perhaps MTV is praying viewers won't remember that pledge.)

But you can't deny the majority of those 23% were the same sort of Nosy Nelsons who would deliberately swerve their cars to the lane closest to a highway car crash just a catch a glimpse of any corpses being untangled from the wreckage. And yes, Britney's cringe-worthy, sucktastic waddling does serve as a valid comparison, especially during live TV.

It's no surprise far more relevant telecasts deserved recognition over the VMA's, but the program I have in mind boasts a more recurring downswing in ratings. I'm talking, of course, about the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, whose ailing viewership didn't prevent CBS from shipping the intrepid former Today Show anchor off to Iraq and Syria to earmark the one-year anniversary of Katie joining the nightly news war. It's also a move no other broadcasters parroted, in part to supply viewers firsthand accounts of the battlefield days before U.S. Army General David Petraeus issued his Congressional report on the current military surge.

Anyway, ratings dragged for CBS Evening News despite Katie Couric's insightful overseas field reporting. The telecast scored just 5.5. million viewers on average last week, according to a Neilson Media Research report.

Now, I watched most of those broadcasts, and happen to remember Katie interviewing a few Iraqi families about how secure they felt under U.S. insurgency, not to mention all those breathtaking shots of a Baghdad marketplace before and after it was bombed. There were many spine-tingling reports, yet apparently it wasn't enough appeal to reign in CBS' seemingly lost demographics.

And why not? Well, evidently the horrendous catastrophe in Iraq bears no match to the homespun disastrous meltdown that plagued our televisions on Sunday night. What's more awe-inspiring: fistfuls of grenades wreaking havoc 4,000 miles away or the explosive equivalent of a tragedy in Las Vegas?

According to America, it was the latter.

Benoit Tragedy leads to steroid investigation hearings in late-September

So, you're probably aware of World Wrestling Entertainment professional wrestler Chris Benoit's double murder-suicide last June. As a self-proclaimed fanatic of the wrestling industry, I subscribe to insider news, discussion, and all the jaw-dropping tidbits associated with a business whose first duty is to gratify viewers with vicious, no-holds-barred wrestling. Their second duty is, presumably, to supply a never-ending stream of fresh, entertaining, soap-operatic storytelling.

The Benoit tragedy, obviously, was not entertaining. It's aftermath, however, was reminiscent of bad soap opera.

First, the question: why? Why commit such an atrocity against one's significant other or worse, against one's offspring? Cable news media such as CNN, MSNBC (and to larger extent, Fox News) insinuated the cause was anabolic steroids, human growth hormones, testosterone supplements, or a deadly medley of all three. The reasoning was simple: how else does a musclebound wrestler survive night after night on and off the road — traveling the highways and byways connecting America's cities — for nearly 300 days per year without vacation? Answer: by flooding one's system with a rejuvenating fusion of hormones.

It's bottled lightning: conveniently stored inside a hypodermic needle, then injected into a fleshy patch of tissue for that whiz-bang jolt of energy and thicker muscle mass.

And that renewed zing — that potent kick — is so dynamic, it's scary. For some people, it's uncontrollable. And this segues into the media's second explanation for Benoit's baffling sin: roid rage. In short, all those performance-enhancing drugs sent Benoit spiraling into an unruly fit of rage. The rage was so bad that Benoit couldn't help but strangle his wife, suffocate his son, then commit suicide.

Like bad soap opera, that wasn't the end of the story. Benoit's son might've had a rare form of autism called Fragile-X, so media pundits speculated that Benoit killed his wife, knew his son wouldn't survive while his father served life in prison, so in one last laudable deed put his son out of his misery.

This scenario morphed into countless others — each less plausible than the last — until July 17: the day the Georgia medical examiner released Benoit's toxicology report to the public. The report revealed exactly which deadly concoction remained inside Benoit's bloodstream the night he flew off the handle.

They found synthetic testosterone, a legal form of steroid. And alcohol. And painkillers. And no answers. Did they really expect to find any substance that might explain Benoit's behavior? Yes, they did. It was like bad soap opera: there was effect, but no cause. The general public needed cause. Media needed cause. Benoit's surviving family desperately needed cause.

The story dwindled to nothing for an agonizing month, leaving nothing except the whisper of a Congressional investigation inside WWE's Wellness Program — an 18-month-old agency responsible for moderating the health of active wrestlers. Here was cause, presumably: WWE knowingly allowed Benoit to inject steroids in exchange for maintaining a high caliber in-ring performance, all the while switching a blind eye to the Molotov cocktail he weekly introduced into his body.

That is, until Congress did step in. In early August, two congressional committees (House Oversight and Government Reform; Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection) issued two letters of inquiry requesting every single drug testing WWE gave employees since February 2006.

Then, the bad soap opera caught ablaze: fearing backlash, WWE fired four wrestlers and suspended 10 others. Blitzkrieged by Congress and sideswiped by the usual gang of media talking heads, WWE's house of cards collapsed. In late-September, the congressional hearings begin. The dance continues.

And all, it seems, because of Benoit. And the obsessive desire to discover the cause of why Benoit did what he did. Are other wrestlers at risk to repeat Benoit's tragic misdeed?

Stay tuned for the next episode.