Can't Squish This Pest...

While we're on the subject of prehistoric activity, scientists have just discovered a fossilized claw in a German quarry that's believed to be part of an ancient sea scorpion. It's eight feet long, making it a smidge taller than Michael Jordan and no shorter than most compact cars. The research article also calls it the "largest anthropod ever to have evolved."

The 390-million-year-old rock may help paleontologists redefine just how humongous primitive creatures were during an epoch when warding off attackers was commonplace. Their size evolution was doubly crucial considering their once easy prey, fish, had grown a hard armored shell. Plus, they ballooned in length alongside other equally intimidating spiders, insects and crab - all of which were jockeying for control of their animal kingdom.

From the Associated Press:

"We have known for some time that the fossil record yields monster millipedes, super-sized scorpions, colossal cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies. But we never realized until now just how big some of these ancient creepy-crawlies were," University of Bristol paleontologist Simon Braddy said. Braddy and Markus Poschmann both discovered the claw in Germany.

Of course, they were the preeminent species at one point, facing no natural enemies until a slow extinction from the very prey they once sought - fish. With jaws. Yep, that's a tough break in the Paleozoic Era. Still, you can't deny they were the kingliest of carnivorous predators in their heyday. Heck, they even cannibalized themselves because the meat was available and they needed a fresh meal comparable to their body weight.

From an NPR article:

"They kind of looked like a flattened submarine," Yale paleontologist Eric Tetlie said. "Then they had these massive claws in front which could be up to a meter long."

Unlike their common descendants, NPR says, this gigantic sea scorpion - called an "eurypterid" - munched their prey whole without injecting a poisonous dose from their stinger. But these monstrosities disappeared 225 million years ago - when said prey devoured them. However, other scientists believe the scorpion die-off was a result of oxygen deficiency in the oceans.

Whatever the cause, you best believe that an eight-foot gargantuan is lumpy potatoes next to it's other, more ravenous contemporaries. And no, I'm not talking about the fish. I'm talking about dinosaurs like the ichthyosaurs.

There's an NPR radio news report on the subject on their website. Select "Listen Now" after clicking here.

Images Courtesy NPR.org, Associated Press

Leroy Jenkems, Butt Hash, Waste, Runners, Fruit From Crack Pipe, etc.

In a word, Jenkem. The newest underground street drug sensation that's hitting the teenage nation. That's because an officer in Collier County in Naples, Fla. just issued a bulletin that several high school students are tripping out on a euphoric high. This shouldn't cause too much surprise, of course... unless you notice the drug's ingredients are human excrement and urine (pictured above).

Yes, apparently the primary ingredient, among other equally disturbing putridity, is "raw sewage." Word of the drug caught parent's attention, says the bulletin, "through several conversations with students at Palmetto Ridge High."

The drug is harvested inside a makeshift container until the bubbling waste ferments as a gas inside a latex balloon attached to the bottle's mouth, according to a Washington Post column. Once the balloon has completely filled, the gas is inhaled until the, ahem, Jenkem-user scores a hallucinogenic high. And the gas in question? Why, it's methane- the gas compound produced after breaking wind. (Geez, I've heard of fart-sniffers, but this is ridiculous.)

In South Bend, Ind., St. Joseph Regional Medical Center ER physician Dr. Tom Sweeny says that other than the "sense of euphoria and a heightened sense of awareness," immediate symptoms "are lower blood pressure, a decreased heart rate and lowering respiratory drive." Hallucinogen users - including the ones that huff Jenkem, are even liable to stop breathing altogether, according to the WSBT article.

Even the Drug Enforcement Administration has a difficult time categorizing its narcotic status. Adds Drug Enforcement Administration spokesman Garrison Courtney in a FOX News story:

"We wouldn't classify it as a drug so much because it's feces and urine. You've pretty much hit the bottom of the barrel if you're experimenting with this."

However, although Jenkem use has African origins - children in impoverished third-world countries like Zambia used it to achieve a cheap high - not a single case has actually been documented in the United States. In fact, even the Collier County bulletin turns out to be an elaborate hoax - the two pictures above were snapped by an Internet user aliased "Pickwick". His or her concoction? Merely "flour, beer, water and Nutella," says an article from an Australian NBC TV affiliate. To wit, no human waste.

Meanwhile, the ever-reliable rumor-debunker Web site Snopes.com has classified the status of Jenkem as "False," citing the lack of documented American cases. Which isn't to say it doesn't exist at all - from a 1999 BBC News Brief on Snopes:

"At the Lusaka sewage ponds, two teenage boys plunge their hands into the dark brown sludge, gathering up fistfuls and stuffing it into small plastic bottles ... They are manufacturing "Jenkem", a disgusting, noxious mixture made from fermented sewage. It is cheap, potent and very popular among the thousands of street-children in Lusaka. When they cannot afford glue or are too scared to steal petrol, these youngsters turn to Jenkem as a way of getting high."

See, the news circulating around Collier County of a new hallucinogenic was enough to scare local law enforcement into issuing a bulletin, which caused a stink around the 'net throughout October.Yet Jenkem does exist abroad, just not here - yet.

Still, could you just imagine what Robocop would say in an anti-drug PSA if Jenkem were to ever hit American streets?



You tell 'em, Murphy.

Images Courtesy Washington Post, WSBT.com

Move over, Dinosaur-Asteroid Theory. Hellooooo, Volcanoes!

Until recently, many thought the dinosaur-death-by-asteroid theory 65 million years ago was a whodunit Sherlock Holmes could've solved in his sleep. But this case ain't so elementary, my dear Watson.

Recently, Princeton University paleontologist Gerta Keller argued at a Geological Society of America meeting on Oct. 31 that many rapid-fire volcanic eruptions carbon-dated back to around the time of the mass extinction could've spilled enough greenhouse gases to trigger a "runaway global warming" aggressive enough to wipe out the dinosaurs, according to a Time Magazine article. Sulfur and carbon dioxide could've sprayed from volcanoes in the Deccan Traps (a 580,000 sq. mi. area in central India) into the atmosphere, showering not just unbreathable air but acid rainfall. In short, if the asteroids didn't cause the dinosaur's abrupt demise, the volcanoes sure did.

However, there's been heated debates over which occurred first, according to a National Geographic article; for Keller, the answer was obvious. After following a meandering lava flow through the Gulf of Bengal, which empties into the ocean roughly 600 miles southeast of Deccan, Keller spotted prehistoric plankton called foraminifera. The plankton, she alleges, died off about 300,000 years before the mass extinction, then reemerged later in smaller quantities. Then, Keller says, the asteroid destroyed them for good. It proves that massive volcanism hit critical mass several millenia before the infamous impact offed the dinos. From MSNBC:

"It's the first time we can directly link the main phase of the Deccan Traps to the mass extinction," said Keller.

Original research for the Asteroid Theory dates back 30 years after physicist Luis Alvarez and his geologist son Walter discovered a vast crater at Chicxulub on the coast of Mexico. Then, a global iridium layer was found in 1980; it's an element common in asteroids but not on Earth, according to an MSNBC article. Keller's not refuting the lone asteroid theory, but she is saying the space rock might've had an accomplice - a deadly cocktail of intoxicating atmosphere and magma spurting everywhere. Again, from MSNBC:

"The dinosaurs might have faced an unfortunate coincidence of a one-two punch - of Deccan volcanism and then a hit from space," she explained. "We just show the Deccan eruptions might have had a significant impact - no pun intended."

Not surprisingly, the notion of a second contributor to the mass extinction was likely to draw heavy skepticism. And unbelievers there are. University of Hawaii geochemist Greg Ravizza thinks Keller neglects to point out that these lava flows under scrutiny were only until recently tied to the Deccan Traps. The jury's still out on whether they're interrelated, according to a National Geographic article. Yet skeptics won't deny that massive eruptions are like to produce a super-toxic atmosphere.

If Keller's "double whammy" theory can be authenticated, it means a massive rewriting of, well, all Earth Science textbooks. 'Course, it doesn't take a Princeton researcher to deduce that a colossal asteroid wouldn't flush all living planetary life down the drain (for the record, it didn't - the fish survived). That's why a so-called "second gunman" is a argument much easier to digest.

Images Courtesy Time.com, MSNBC.com and NYTimes.com

Why they picket

Prefer to hear the rationale behind the writer's strike straight from the horse's mouth?

Writers of the World, Unite!

Some TV-philes aren't sitting pretty. They're in withdrawl: their arms and hands shivering, their knees knocking, and their teeth chattering. They're not cold, but suffering from a lack of daily perennial wisdom by late-night kingpins Jay Leno, Conan O' Brian and David Letterman.

Their "fix" won't arrive anytime soon. That's because on Monday, the massive Writer's Guild of America traded their pens for picket signs for the first national Writer's Strike since 1988. Y'know, the one that cost Hollywood $500 million in lost revenue? The reasons are simple: as a Minneapolis Star-Tribune article puts it, "online video is still in its infancy, but its moneymaking potential is salivating."

Today, roughly 75 percent of Internet users watch an average of three hours of Web video each month, according to Pew American Life & Internet Project, a non-profit initiative that produces Internet statistical reports. That translates to a cash cow of media exposure from which all 12,000-plus writers won't receive a cut.

So far, the current arrangement for residuals between the Guild and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers is $0.036 on the dollar per DVD unit sold and absolute zip for new media (i.e. online and digital sales, exposure to Internet television programming). That figure was accepted in 1985. The Guild is demanding a sharp increase (from about 0.5 to 2.5 percent of sales) in royalties from DVDs and Web productions, cell phones and other gadgets.

Yet curiously enough, that Star-Tribune comment earlier is precisely AMPTP's agrument as well. Film and television studios contend that it's too early to agree to a binding formula regarding profit margins for Web content.

On their website, AMPTP President Nick Coulter says, "when we asked if [the Writer's Guild] would “stop the clock” for the purpose of delaying the strike to allow negotiations to continue, they refused ... It is unfortunate that they choose to take this irresponsible action."

Here's a handy fact box from the CNN Web site:

• How you'll be affected- Immediately: Late-night talk shows, which depend on topical material, will go to reruns
• In about one month: Daytime soap operas will go to reruns
• By January-February: Current prime-time shows will likely run out of fresh episodes - Reality shows unaffected; Fox, with fewer hours to program and powerhouse "American Idol" returning in January, in best shape if strike continues, according to The Hollywood Reporter
• ABC has stockpiled several new shows, could put them on in midseason if strike persists
• TV networks have stockpiled TV movies
• Movie studios in decent shape for now

Here's the thing: the 1988 strike lasted 22 weeks, according to The Washington Post. That's plenty of time to melt through all those stored hours of unwatched programming on your TiVo. This stretch could arguably allow watchers to ween themselves off serialized and scripted dramas and learn to embrace online entertainment or reality shows. This alternative isn't comparatively better by any means, but a gloves-off writer showdown leaves us clinging to the sidelines.

It ain't all bad, though. Writers are still trying to keep us entertained during the hiatus:

Images courtesy CNN.com, washingtonpost.com

U.S.: Slowpoke of the Internet

The fatboy on the high school track team. The escargot of the information superhighway. You'd expect this to happen to a third-world country, but statistics compiled by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) say America is sandwiched in between nations with cheaper broadband connections. And yes, you read that graph (right) correctly: Iceland and Luembourg carry more households with high-speed per 100 than we, the patriarchs of the Web.

Prospects look so bleak, in fact, that our Web woes have attracted the intervention of the Federal Government. So, the House Energy and Commerce Committee passed legislation Tuesday to start annually cataloguing every internet service provider in the country, including subscriber data and advertised bandwidth speeds.

Not only should the data draw a sharper picture of how the U.S. measures up, but bill-proponent Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., wants to target regions lagging behind on high-speed access.

But there's actually more salient reasons for this type of corroboration. The OECD neglects to factor in individuals who have broadband access at work or in their college dorms, says think tanks who favor total Internet deregulation (as opposed to government-controlled bandwidth).

Larry Cohen, The Communication Workers of America (CWA) president, wants to erect a policy now so broadband is guaranteed for everyone.

"Unfortunately, we don't know the full extent of our problem because our data is so poor. We don't know where high- speed networks are deployed, how many households and small businesses connect to the Internet, at what speed, and how much they pay. Without this information, we can't craft good policy solutions. So we continue to fall farther behind," he said.

Nevertheless, the statistic puts U.S. broadband at an unceremonious 15th place in 2006, down from 4th in 2001. And our current slog through cyberspace isn't close to diminishing, either. We're slouches in comparison to South Korea, whose government-regulated ISPs rent Digital Subscriber Lines (DSL) to consumers on the cheap. It's evidently working, since broadband connections rate 15 times faster than the average American user. Those Korean's got Seoul, baby!

Other examples pointing to U.S. sluggishness include Paris, whose "triple play" package (Web, TV, phone) costs half as much as our equivalent. Canada has 65 percent of households surfing at blazing speeds, much higher than America's 55. And lest we forget, Japanese users routinely connect with broadband as high as 100 megabits per second.

This renewed interest in widespread net-neutrality arrives about six years too soon. Democratizing the Internet shares its weight of pros and cons, but essentially it means no one company (AT&T, Verizon, etc) can have a stranglehold on how much bandwith is trickled down to the consumer.

Put another way, America finally has the chance to catch up. Yes, even to Iceland and Luxembourg.

Here's a spiffy explainer on the concept of net-neutrality:



Images Courtesy Associated Press, CNN.COM

To sleep, perchance to dream

Before you chance breezing through the pages from that gargantuan Chem textbook at 5 a.m., bleary-eyed and blistering for shut-eye, look around. Is there a pink unicorn preening itself at the foot of your bed? If so, you might be suffering from a psychological disorder triggered by (what else?) sleep deprivation.

Today, the Scientific American Journal says that UC Berkley and Harvard University med schools just uncovered a link between lack of sleep and overemotional behavior, a trend which could easily lead to psychiatric problems like paranoia, ADHD and post-traumatic stress disorder if left unnoticed.

Science researchers stuffed 14 sleep-impaired test subjects into a room, and each handed photographs of an increasingly disturbing nature. Harmless images of empty wicker baskets evolved into more sinister snapshots of tarantulas crawling on human shoulders and burn victims. Meanwhile, every subject's amygdala, or part of the midbrain responsible for interpreting emotion, was monitored to detect differences in awareness while exposed to awkward stimuli.

Long story short, the sleep-deprived amygdala secretes more adrenaline to jump-start brain activity, inducing a sort of heightened arousal that causes everything from elation to outrage in seconds flat. Adds a San Fransisco Chronicle article, that's because the medial prefrontal cortex, which controls logical reasoning, grinds nearly to a halt, making it harder for the brain to distinguish fact from fiction.

The brain goes haywire, the SA article further explains:

"Medial prefrontal cortex is the policeman of the emotional brain," [Berkeley psychologist Matthew] Walker says. "It makes us more rational. That top-down, inhibitory connection is severed in the condition of sleep deprivation. … The amygdala seems to be able to run amok." People in this state seem to experience a pendulum of emotions, going from upset and annoyed to giddy in moments, he says.

So, still itching to crack open that Chem textbook? Better wait 'til morning. Unsurprisingly, sleep deprivation is also associated with obesity, daily stress, depression and even heart attacks, says the Center for Disease Control. Yes, losing those 40 winks contributes to slower metabolic rates, increased irritability throughout the day and higher blood pressure - all improving one's chances of cardiovascular disease, according to a Reuters article.

This notoriously affects college students the most, considering they require at least nine hours of sleep average (as opposed to seven for adults).

Think of it this way: Given the dozen or so illnesses associated with sleep deprivation, hallucinating a pink unicorn should be the least of your worries. You're likelier to irritably snipe at friends and peers the next day and give yourself a coronary. In short, lay off the all-nighters, folks.

Images courtesy Reuters, Scientific American

It's probably a great idea NOT to switch channels during these commercials...

We've seen it popping up occasionally in mainstream news, but even the 16 months' forewarning remaining doesn't soften the blow for analog television watchers. But that won't stop Congress from pounding boob tube watchers with a huge televised advertisement blitz next year.

The National Association of Broadcasters announced plans Monday to launch a $697 million public awareness ad campaign alerting current "analogers" that the Federal Communications Commission is upconverting all broadcast signals to digital come February 17, 2009, according to Associated Press.

Congress is meanwhile pitching in $5 million toward publicizing the soon-to-be ubiquitous ad campaigns, yet although this number isn't exactly a groundbreaking collaborative effort, their real generosity is $1.5 billion in consumer coupons so homeowners won't be left, well, signalless when broadcasters convert. $40 in discount coupons will be given to every individual still watching analog TV (i.e. over antenna and not with a cable or satellite company) so they can buy digital-analog converter boxes. According to the Heartland Institute, a nonprofit promoting technological research awareness, each DTV converter runs $80 to $100; thankfully, consumers can apply for up to two $40 vouchers.

In addition to on-air public announcements, NAB will devote over $327 million to news coverage; a "DTV Road Show featuring TV-shaped trucks touting the transition; banner ads on Web sites; and 30-minute shows about the transition," according to a Broadcasting & Cable magazine article. (As an aside, this is shaping up to be the most intensely coordinated ad campaign ever conceived for television - and it's necessary, too.)

A 2005 Government Accountabiliy Office study concluded that roughly 19 percent out of 108.5 million U.S. households (about 21 million folks with 70 million sets) watch TV via airwaves, pointing out that the elderly trend toward this method. Wow, not surprising.

Also not surprising: The switch-over most strongly affects the poor and minorities, which represent a great majority of the 21 million "analogers," according to Scientific American magazine.

The NAB also added that 95 broadcasting companies pledged to run the digital TV ad spots during prime time, a bread-and-butter nightly block where millions of ad revenue per commerical are gained. Of course, sacrificing every broadcaster's cash cow may seem an unhealthy agreement now, but chew on this: no public awareness at all is just plain foolhardy - should a multi-billion dollar conglomerate broadcasters have a vested interest in forfeiting ad revenue now, or should they stand to lose 21 million ignorant analog viewers instead? Gee, it boggles the noggin...

Here's one video advertisement slated to run as part of NAB's ad campaign blitz.

Images Courtesy DTV Answers, www.textually.org

I've got a (cheap) ticket to ride...

Any vehement quibbling about America's swelling traffic problem invariably segues into some argument against overpopulation and, to greater extent, how one bypasses all that nasty congestion. If you're thinking certain city engineers should take a defibrillator or three to our woeful nationwide public transportation problem, you're right. Thankfully, Beijing, China, just cranked out a prototype not only worthy of worldwide acclaim, but of being called an antidote to a planet that refuses to slow down.

The October 7 grand opening of Beijing's $1.45 billion Line 5 underground subway network falls just ten months before the capital hosts the 2008 Olympics, and serves to streamline travel during the highly anticipated summer games. But the railway line alleviates a much more pressing burden - a city so thronged to the gills it had to designate a "No Car Day" two months ago to combat rising air pollution, according to a Washington Post article. The metropolis itself is beleaguered with a population that rivals the entire state of Florida (approximately 17 million), so a cost-efficient subway promises a smoother transition come the flood rush of tourists next summer.

Yes, I said cost-efficient. Beijing slashed fares to roughly 27 cents per-commuter per-ride, so the whole shebang costs around the price of a pack of bubble gum. The powerful 27.3 km rail line not only outclasses any form of Western transportation, but packs an impressive medley of LCD-panel ticket centers, information terminals, air conditioning, handicapped accessibility, onboard flatscreen televisions and a ubiquitous wireless surveillance system monitoring platform and subway car traffic.

Here's a brief 360-degree panorama around the interior of one passenger car:



That's not all, fellow flummoxed college commuters. The Beijing Subway line plans to overhaul its entire public transportation system by 2020 - which includes jacking up the number of public transportation users from 30 to 40 percent by 2010. City officials are shooting for the largest subway network in the world at a projected 561 km - larger than the London Underground - to justify thrusting railway lines into every conceivable part of the clogged and overwhelmed city. And that's including the newly-constructed Olympic Park - the bustling centerpiece for all Olympic-related activities.

Since Beijing's facelift coincides with Olympic preparations, arguably equally congested cities might use that kind of an incentive to revamp their own ailing public transportation infrastructure. Heck, the Second Avenue subway line in New York City has been a project bubbling since the Roaring Twenties, but constantly derailed ever since, according to a New York Magazine article.

Does it really take a bid to host the Olympics to spur traffic reform in America's most gridlocked cities? Paging the 2020 Olympics...

Images courtesy www.Treehugger.com

Livin' it up in the United Arab Emirates (such a lovely place)

Move over, Disney World. And, for that matter, the Empire State Building, the Sears Tower, Taipei 101, sports stadiums, existing garish hotels, or any other man-made artifice that at one point made humanity marvel at its sheer ingenuity.

Within the next half-decade, a single city stands poised to conquer and dwarf every identifiable landmark on Earth - and in record time. Dubai, a city located in the heart of the United Arab Emirates, is quickly transforming into a boomtown for tourist attractions and breakneck development. Development which, according to a U.K. Sunday herald article, wouldn't happen without the thousands of foreign laborers toiling under massive skyscrapers in the blazing Persian Gulf sun.

Yes, amid all the construction cranes, a half-built theme park dubbed Dubailand, and a chain of unfinished luxury islands modeled after the entire world are South Asian, Pakistani and other migrant workers sweating in sweltering desert heat and earning little dinero in return. That's right: the average foreign construction worker earns about $1 an hour, according to an August New York Times article.

Of course, that's only counting the workers who actually get paid.

The Sunday Herald's description is bleak:

"The sprawling, heat-blistered labour camp of Sonapur is a squalid home very different to the air-conditioned luxury enjoyed by the British expatriates. Workers sleep eight to a room in ugly dormitory blocks festooned with washing hung out to dry, shuttled by fleets of battered buses past the Starbucks and bars to building sites ringed with barbed wire where they toil for 12 hours or more, six days a week."

Thankfully, the laborers slogging through some of the worst working conditions in the entire world comprise roughly 99 percent of the workforce, or 4. 5 million foreigners. The cost of catering to upper-crust Shiekhs, Americans and other far-flung businessmen pouring petroleum money into Dubai just became a little easier. That's because a couple-thousand workers walked off a few-dozen construction sites last year, leading the UAE Labor Ministry to fork over back wages and improve worker's camp conditions. But unfortunately, the NYT story claims that laborers have "no right to unionize and no chance at citizenship."

Should globalization really come at such a terrible price? There's nothing more disheartening (or ironic) than to see blatant exploitation of labor used to build vacation resorts and travel hotspots sure to attract the wealthiest families on the planet. If so, bigwig executives can surely expect such a furious bottom-rung militancy to continue.

In about ten years, when most FAU graduates have advanced to suburbs and median-income jobs, and the hot topic 'round the household is a debate between shuffling the kids off to the newly-opened Dubailand or boring ol' Disney World, would the parents remember the cheap foreign labor that took to create it? Would they remember all the blistered hands that fashioned a desert paradise?

Images Courtesy BusinessWeek, NY Times, Burj-Dubai

Computer mouse beats remote control — this week only, that is

The combined onslaught of the Fall Television season and college midterms has forced America's most coveted viewer demographic to strike a compromise.

It's not easy to reconcile TV watching - a passive viewer/medium relationship - with the more active pursuit of postsecondary education. But dad gum it, broadcasters are sure gonna try.

After announcing plans to sever ties with iTunes earlier this month, NBC opted to launch a competitor called NBC Direct this October, a service providing free but ad-supported full downloads of its present shows. There are several catches: a. downloads are available only through Amazon's Unbox service; b. commericals embedded within the downloads are unskippable; c. they're only available up to a week after they premiere; and d. the download "degrades" (or blocks playability) after seven days.

Sounds unreasonably complicated. So why did NBC split with iTunes anyway? Although NBC wouldn't name specifics, Apple cited pricing differences; to wit, the broadcaster wanted to charge more for certain shows, and wholesale for its popular programming — a reversal over iTunes' usual $1.99 per episode flat rate.

That's not all. Every broadcaster (including ABC, FOX and CBS) is rolling out free downloads for most season premieres this week; however iTunes and Amazon Unbox are favoring new series such as Journeyman, Chuck, Cane, Pushing Daisies and K-Ville yet charges for returning hit staples Family Guy, CSI, The Office and Heroes. The reason? According to a New York Times article, consumers can download the program before its televised premiere, then spread to friends à la word-of-mouth, so hype is generated virally - by the individual - and not the corporation.

Of course, that assumes the aforementioned college-age demographic (18-25 year-olds) is even willing to participate in viral marketing, considering the windfall of homework and test prep pelting students starting early October.

Yet preliminary signs indicate yes, after a successful viral campaign launched late-July targeted the online file-sharing subculture. While piraters illegally downloaded video camera-quality copies of Transformers, search results were also peppered with allegedly "leaked" series premieres including Pushing Daisings, Cavemen, Bionic Woman and Reaper. Network execs "expressed surprise" over the leak, but we all know better.

I personally DVR the programs, but those not blessed with the same technology may find solace in Unbox and iTunes' free downloads this week.

Of course, you should probably remember to avert your eyes from the cheerleader once in awhile and concentrate on that Chemistry exam, eh?

Images courtesy www.apple.com, www.amazon.com and www.nbc.com.

Pork your pork and eat it, too

Remember the saying, "some foods are aphrodisiacs"? If so, you might agree with linguist/scholar Harry E. Wedeck's clever truism:

"Many so-called aphrodisiac recipes are basically wholesome ingredients prepared in a tasty way. The receptivity to romance probably comes from the general sense of relaxation and well-being good food induces."

Of course, he probably wasn't talking about swine. Or bestiality.

That's because the swanky downtown district of Ropponga, Tokyo, Japan has bequeathed new
meaning to the phrase, "erotic food": an underground restaurant lets patrons, ahem, sexually violate the livestock of their choice, then have it slaughtered, roasted, sautéd and served to them as an entrée.

The members-only bestiality restaurant, according to InventorSpot, caters almost exclusively to nouveau riche clients seeking decadent lairs to satisfy primal urges teetering on taboo. An S&M club worker identified merely as "M" in a Mainichi Daily News column supplies a blow-by-blow of his experience in the restaurant:

"When a customer goes in, they give their name to a receptionist. When they are approved, they pass through a wooden door to be greeted by another door, this one made of metal. Passing a membership card over a scanner outside the door will automatically open it. Inside is an eatery that resembles just about any other Italian restaurant."

Talk about bestial decadence. Anyway, "M" was steered downstairs to an isolated basement, asked to select an animal, and given carte blanche to "do" whatever he wanted. Once comfortable, he was led upstairs to a plush dining room and, lo and behold, fed the very same beast he violated earlier. The price tag for such an act of debauchery? Try 800,000 yen, or roughly $7,000.

Just disgusting. Thankfully, that hideaway's sitting smack on the other side of the globe — right where it should be. I know dogs and cats are considered delicacies in certain South Asian locales, but honestly: What's the explanation for something like this?

Images courtesy InventorSpot, Japaneselifestyle.com.au

To boldly go where no conglomerate has gone before

Search engine? Check. E-mail carrier? Check. Investor in multi-million dollar moon missions?

Surprisingly, check.

Los Angeles Times reported on Sept. 14 that Google Inc. is backing a $30 million planned lunar space race called "Google Lunar X PRIZE," a competition geared toward enterprising robot-philes itching to launch rockets into the vast blackness of space.

An excerpt from the article:
"The international competition challenges entrants to land a robotic vehicle on the moon, have it travel at least 500 meters and beam video images and other data back to Earth. The first company to win the private-sector space race by 2012 would take home $20 million."

Here's a press conference introducing the Google-sponsored competition:



Of course, this is the first non-government-subsidized space exploration project since SpaceShipOne captured the $10-million Ansari X Prize after climbing 377,591 feet (or about 17.5 miles) in 2004.

The reason? Google hopes to spark a "commercial revolution," wherein other corporations would take the proverbial cosmic plunge and sponsor more robotic space expeditions.

It's actually a fantastic idea: Why should the increasingly impatient private-sector idle away while NASA plods along launching hit-or-miss missions? Instead, why not quadruple the manpower, trigger a global revolution and get humanity spacebound faster than before? Can you just imagine the conversations in 100 years once manned missions become as commonplace as bike-riding?

Son: Hey, Ma! I'm goin' to Pluto. See ya at 5:00.
Mother: Wear a sweater, honey. It's chilly.

Now, Google staking millions toward a robot-versus-robot contest is peculiar considering the funding comes from an unconventional source, but we should first remember how the billion-dollar corporation is paving inroads for the Web 2.0 movement. They've progressed from mediocre search engine to e-mail client to Froogle to Google Earth, a software granting users free-license to trek through dazzling 3D renderings of our globe's most far-flung regions.

Doesn't it seem that bankrolling space competitions is the next evolutionary step?

Image courtesy www.xprize.org

From the No-Surprise Department: Viewers declare Sunday's fiasco more interesting than overseas war

Although Britney's disastrous performance last Sunday at the Video Music Awards emerged as an unavoidable news headline, the lumbering lip-syncher's gag-inducing antics managed to cull a huge uptick in ratings - 6.40, or nearly 7.1 million viewers, according to a CNN.com report. The 23% increase over last year all but gave MTV a viewership choke hold over other Sunday Night primetime TV contenders, owing to MTV's announced promise not to reair the 2007 VMAs after the initial broadcast. (By the by, this might not be entirely true — my Comcast onscreen guide shows a reairing on September 17; by then, perhaps MTV is praying viewers won't remember that pledge.)

But you can't deny the majority of those 23% were the same sort of Nosy Nelsons who would deliberately swerve their cars to the lane closest to a highway car crash just a catch a glimpse of any corpses being untangled from the wreckage. And yes, Britney's cringe-worthy, sucktastic waddling does serve as a valid comparison, especially during live TV.

It's no surprise far more relevant telecasts deserved recognition over the VMA's, but the program I have in mind boasts a more recurring downswing in ratings. I'm talking, of course, about the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, whose ailing viewership didn't prevent CBS from shipping the intrepid former Today Show anchor off to Iraq and Syria to earmark the one-year anniversary of Katie joining the nightly news war. It's also a move no other broadcasters parroted, in part to supply viewers firsthand accounts of the battlefield days before U.S. Army General David Petraeus issued his Congressional report on the current military surge.

Anyway, ratings dragged for CBS Evening News despite Katie Couric's insightful overseas field reporting. The telecast scored just 5.5. million viewers on average last week, according to a Neilson Media Research report.

Now, I watched most of those broadcasts, and happen to remember Katie interviewing a few Iraqi families about how secure they felt under U.S. insurgency, not to mention all those breathtaking shots of a Baghdad marketplace before and after it was bombed. There were many spine-tingling reports, yet apparently it wasn't enough appeal to reign in CBS' seemingly lost demographics.

And why not? Well, evidently the horrendous catastrophe in Iraq bears no match to the homespun disastrous meltdown that plagued our televisions on Sunday night. What's more awe-inspiring: fistfuls of grenades wreaking havoc 4,000 miles away or the explosive equivalent of a tragedy in Las Vegas?

According to America, it was the latter.

Benoit Tragedy leads to steroid investigation hearings in late-September

So, you're probably aware of World Wrestling Entertainment professional wrestler Chris Benoit's double murder-suicide last June. As a self-proclaimed fanatic of the wrestling industry, I subscribe to insider news, discussion, and all the jaw-dropping tidbits associated with a business whose first duty is to gratify viewers with vicious, no-holds-barred wrestling. Their second duty is, presumably, to supply a never-ending stream of fresh, entertaining, soap-operatic storytelling.

The Benoit tragedy, obviously, was not entertaining. It's aftermath, however, was reminiscent of bad soap opera.

First, the question: why? Why commit such an atrocity against one's significant other or worse, against one's offspring? Cable news media such as CNN, MSNBC (and to larger extent, Fox News) insinuated the cause was anabolic steroids, human growth hormones, testosterone supplements, or a deadly medley of all three. The reasoning was simple: how else does a musclebound wrestler survive night after night on and off the road — traveling the highways and byways connecting America's cities — for nearly 300 days per year without vacation? Answer: by flooding one's system with a rejuvenating fusion of hormones.

It's bottled lightning: conveniently stored inside a hypodermic needle, then injected into a fleshy patch of tissue for that whiz-bang jolt of energy and thicker muscle mass.

And that renewed zing — that potent kick — is so dynamic, it's scary. For some people, it's uncontrollable. And this segues into the media's second explanation for Benoit's baffling sin: roid rage. In short, all those performance-enhancing drugs sent Benoit spiraling into an unruly fit of rage. The rage was so bad that Benoit couldn't help but strangle his wife, suffocate his son, then commit suicide.

Like bad soap opera, that wasn't the end of the story. Benoit's son might've had a rare form of autism called Fragile-X, so media pundits speculated that Benoit killed his wife, knew his son wouldn't survive while his father served life in prison, so in one last laudable deed put his son out of his misery.

This scenario morphed into countless others — each less plausible than the last — until July 17: the day the Georgia medical examiner released Benoit's toxicology report to the public. The report revealed exactly which deadly concoction remained inside Benoit's bloodstream the night he flew off the handle.

They found synthetic testosterone, a legal form of steroid. And alcohol. And painkillers. And no answers. Did they really expect to find any substance that might explain Benoit's behavior? Yes, they did. It was like bad soap opera: there was effect, but no cause. The general public needed cause. Media needed cause. Benoit's surviving family desperately needed cause.

The story dwindled to nothing for an agonizing month, leaving nothing except the whisper of a Congressional investigation inside WWE's Wellness Program — an 18-month-old agency responsible for moderating the health of active wrestlers. Here was cause, presumably: WWE knowingly allowed Benoit to inject steroids in exchange for maintaining a high caliber in-ring performance, all the while switching a blind eye to the Molotov cocktail he weekly introduced into his body.

That is, until Congress did step in. In early August, two congressional committees (House Oversight and Government Reform; Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection) issued two letters of inquiry requesting every single drug testing WWE gave employees since February 2006.

Then, the bad soap opera caught ablaze: fearing backlash, WWE fired four wrestlers and suspended 10 others. Blitzkrieged by Congress and sideswiped by the usual gang of media talking heads, WWE's house of cards collapsed. In late-September, the congressional hearings begin. The dance continues.

And all, it seems, because of Benoit. And the obsessive desire to discover the cause of why Benoit did what he did. Are other wrestlers at risk to repeat Benoit's tragic misdeed?

Stay tuned for the next episode.

Movie Quote of the Day

"There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a-howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp blurp in between as if it were a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was."
- Alex, A Clockwork Orange